Commuting into London on East Midlands Trains is way better that using First Capitalist Cunts, you know this because I know this. This morning as the trolley came down I noticed that you can indeed buy some wife beater for breakfast. Yes stella artois can be bought for breakfast on the way to work. Now, alongside this, there was also the option of a “delicious” can of carlsberg.
“Fantastic” you may say, however, I am not of this opinion, not due to the fact that beer can be bought in the morning on the train, moreso due to the disgusting, piss flavoured, toxic death that they are serving up masquerading as “beer”.
So I may lose a few readers here now but I have to say that if you like Carlsberg or Stella then you are a fucking moron and don’t like beer at all. What you like is poisoning yourself because you don’t know any different, well let CommuterRant enlighten you!
http://www.consciouslivingacademy.com/magazine/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=524&Itemid=467:testset
There’s a link that appears to agree with my philosophy on beer/alcohol in general.
What you drink is not just hops, wheat, water, barley and yeast as they proclaim on the can/bottle, it is actually a mixture of toxic chemicals that enable them to preserve it, make a consistent colour, stabilise the head and generally modify it so that it fits their sales strategy.
I mean, why does the old Carling Premier make my legs go numb and make me shout and be obnoxious to everyone? Why does wife beater make me want to beat my wife? Why do I get a headache that feels as if someone is drilling out my eyes with the same tools used to make Wolverine indestructible?
To the layman the answer is always “hahahaha, you were so drunk, it’s not surprising you feel so shit”, well actually no. The reason I say this is that I have lived and worked in Germany where they have a law, yes A LAW that states that beer can only be brewed using traditional methods and the adding of chemicals to “improve” head, colour, yield etc is verboten.
Ah yes, but the layman then says “but I buy German beer from Tescos so that must’ve been brewed in the same way as in Germany”….. WRONG!!!! Anything Germany exports is called “export” and seeing as it is not drunk in their country, they can add whatever preservatives they like to ensure that it will survive the transportation process/storage. The Germans actually laugh when they see what piss we drink and I can GUARANTEE that if you bought a bottle of something like Franziskaner in Germany, it tastes different to the beer that we “imported” from them.
Now, sure, most people can’t tell the difference but I, dear readers, have an acute sense of taste and can tell you without any prejudice that German beer tastes 10 times better.
This is why Germany has a thriving local brewery business. Every region/town/city has their own style and can be completely different from the next. For example, living in Duesseldorf, I drank lots and lots of Altbier (a dark, rich lager drunk in half pint glasses) whereas down the road in Koeln (Cologne) they drink Koelsch which is a light amber pint of piss, very similar to English piss, but without the chemicals.
So yes, it is possible to have a “bad pint”, it is possible that brewers water it down (see my post from the HMV forum Marillion gig), it is possible that you have indeed been poisoned and you are in fact, not pissed, just completely fucking spasticated by all the toxic filth the brewers have added to aid their massive fucking profits.
How else could they possibly sell you something that is “extra cold” or has “smaller bubbles”? It is because they have modified it using chemicals that are inherently bad for your body.
In England I drink 1 pint of Stella and I will have a headache, maybe throw up, and then feel like a dogs dinner for the whole following day. In Germany I can have 5 pints (or 10 halves if drinking Altbier), walk home and then have a mild hangover until about 10am.
This is not anecdotal bullshit, this is FACT! Until you have tried something different, you will only accept what is put in front of you. Step out of your comfort zone, and go over to Germany. Why not combine it with a trip to the Nuerburgring Nordschleife or Miniatur Wunderland in Hamburg?
People of Britain, stop poisoning yourself, realise that it can be different and we can actually drink something that isn’t going to put us in an early grave. We need more real lagers in the UK, CAMRA are far too snobbish about it (I have questioned them on it before and they’re based in St Albans so it explains a lot) and we need a movement to start selling lagers in this way.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2009/nov/16/british-lager-microbrewery
I once sent an email to the Consumers Association asking them to campaign to force breweries to list all ingredients on their bottles. The response was “the drinks giants are too powerful”.
Well there you have it, we are forced to drink their piss and they will not change. So it’s time for YOU, ME and ALL OF BRITAIN to stand up and say, “WE’RE NOT DRINKING THIS DONKEY PISS ANYMORE”!!!!
I only drink dark rum (woods) n coke now when I go to the pub, that way I ensure that I can have a good time, drink with my mates and then still get up the next day feeling as fresh as a daisy.
Posted by CommuterRant 
